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|Posted by aNyBLogGa on May 9, 2011 at 7:52 AM||comments (0)|
"Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you smile." In other words, I'm really ugly.
"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit me??"
"Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued.
"Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.
That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class.
"You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us.
"We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him.
"My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It's not like I don't have eyes."
"Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him. "Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.
I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms.
"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other.
Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.
Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors.
We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom. Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other. We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together.
After graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other. In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints.
Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone.
"Hello." He picked up the phone.
"I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure.
"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it."
He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again."
"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each other?
"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.
I'll eat dinner by myself."
"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."
"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.
Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for??
I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work.
Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument.
"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."
As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney.
"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood.
"Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die."
I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped
"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't lose our calm.
But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!
|Posted by aNyBLogGa on May 9, 2011 at 7:49 AM||comments (0)|
It's a cold February night. People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm.
It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots. Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people. Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?
"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy." One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief. "Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!"
"You are fortunate." Another nurse says. "Some people don't have anyone waiting for them."
"You mean Dr. Shu?"
Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name.
"Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?"
"Of course I do." A nurse shudders. "I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."
They are talking about how I was last year. They are correct. I was out of control, like they said.
"You can't blame Dr. Shu. If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well."
"Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you."
The two nurses are too late. I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall.
"Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"
Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me. I awkwardly step out. The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush. Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates.
"I'm waiting to go home." I pretend that I didn't hear anything.
"Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work. It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!" She waves goodbye.
"Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.
That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway. Even though no lover is waiting
for me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.
After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat. I forgot when I first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day. At that time, I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair. Cats don't cry, I do. That's the only difference.
"Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you." I threatened the cat. Her name is Christine, my least favorite English name. I don't know why I named the cat Christine. Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me, but her eyes are complaining about my severity. Her eyes remind me of someone I used to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.
An year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him.
"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"
He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone."
"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his tone.
"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."
E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is. "You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't use any romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.
"I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day??" He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight with him again.
"You are not romantic at all!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?"
"Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel."
"Your life is so boring." I made a face at him. "One recent drama was really good. You should have watched it."
"What's that drama called?" He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV and movies. He always thought they were lies.
"It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered.
"What kind of trashy plot did it have?"
"What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry. "That drama was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called 'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri." I wonder if he knew who Nana was.
"Nana, I know her. A Greek singer with really expensive albums."
"Her voice is worth it." Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't bring myself to admit it.
"Whatever." He glanced at his watch. "I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the plot. After that, I'm leaving."
I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes. The drama portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years, from 1901 to 2000. Each generation was portrayed by the same actress. The story was tear-jerking.
"What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story.
"Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a screenwriter."
"If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV station can go out of business." He quickly interjected.
"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!" I was so mad that I went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee.
As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online.
Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that happened, he would always come over to tease me.
|Posted by aNyBLogGa on May 9, 2011 at 12:54 AM||comments (0)|
June 17, 1999
’Please let Ji Won be okay’, I prayed to myself silently. Hopefully my prayers will be answered. So is this the end? My heart never changed because it was still the same one I loved Ji Won with. I couldn’t bear the thought of trading it with someone else. I was so confused. Had I finished what I had really come for? What will happen to my love for Ji Won? I didn’t know these answers.
I felt weaker and my pen fell from my fingers. I stopped my story right there. Truth is, I didn’t know how to end it so I might as well leave it unfinished. I took off my cap and clothes. I was wearing a long white flowing dress underneath. It was the kind I always wanted to wear when I thought I was going to marry Ji Won.
My hair had grown out a little bit. It grazed my chin. I started to put on some light make up and combed my hair. I don’t know why I’m getting dressed up for but I knew I wanted to die looking like Nam Mina, and not Ahn Min Sung. I looked at my reflection again. ‘At least I look like a girl now’, I thought with a little laugh.
When I was done, I leaned against the hard rock and wrapped my arms around it, pretending it was Ji Won. Then I heard a voice yelling out my name. “Mina!” I recognized the voice. Ji Won. I smiled, knowing at least he’ll be the last person I’ll see before I go.
Ji Won looked around the beach and saw a figure in a white dress. ‘Mina,’ he thought as he ran towards her. It was Mina. He lifted her into his arms and onto his lap as he sat down on the rocks. “Mina,” he whispered to her and kissed her on the neck and face. Tears began to fall down his face.
All of my energy seemed to have been drained as I forced myself to open my eyes. My face felt wet but it wasn’t from my tears and it wasn’t raining either. My vision was kind of blurred and I couldn’t see Ji Won too well. I reached up to touch his face. It was wet. “Ji Won,” I whispered to him. “Please don’t cry. You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you cry before.”Ji Won looked down at Mina, through his tear-filled eyes. “I’m so sorry Mina.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” she whispered back to him. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
Ji Won shook his head. “I’m so sorry. You’ve done so much for me and I haven’t even realized it. I haven’t done anything for you except put you through a lot of pain.”
I reached up wipe away Ji Won’s tears. “I didn’t expect anything back from you oppa. But I want to know why did you leave me in Hawaii? I could have called the wedding off if you didn’t want to marry me.” I felt Ji Won’s grip on me tighten.
“I didn’t mean to leave you Mina,” answered Ji Won, his voice shaking. “I couldn’t take my dad anymore. My grandpa had given me his inheritance and I planned on taking you and Sung Hoon with me. I didn’t tell you about it because I was afraid you wouldn’t leave your family for me. When I came to your house to get you, my uncle’s men were there waiting for me and chased me to the docks. I escaped but I wanted to go back but couldn’t. I could have put your life in danger. This isn’t the first time I’ve cried Mina. I cried when I knew I was going to be separated from you.”
Despite the pain, I managed to smile. Ji Won didn’t want to leave me, I thought. “Look Ji Wonee, I’m wearing the dress I always wanted to wear if we had gotten married.”
Ji Won looked at me. “You’re beautiful Mina,” he said to me. “If everything would have gone as planned, we could have been married here in Korea.”
One thing was still bothering me. I think I managed to hold onto my life this long because of this question. “Ji Wonee, do you love me? I mean romantically, and not as your dongsang.”
Ji Won looked down at Mina. She was beautiful. His heart ached when he saw how pale she was. He realized she never did know that he had loved her all along. “Yes, Mina,” he told her. “I loved you since the first day we met. I loved you then and I had never stopped loving you.” He bent down to kiss her.
My heart was deepened to a warm bliss. Ji Won said he loved me, I told myself as I felt him kiss me. Then a cold realization washed over me but I didn’t really care. I always thought that I was hurt when I didn’t receive Ji Won’s love. Instead, I found out my pain came from when I didn’t give Ji Won enough love. I haven’t told Ji Won I loved him yet.
“Ji Won,” I said to him as he looked down at me. “Thank you for making my dream come true by saying that you love me. I know you’re lying and just saying it to repay me but you didn’t have to. I did it all because I—I—“
I was losing my voice. Not now, please, I prayed as tears fell down my face. I need to tell him before I go. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the white marble stone Ji Won had given to me when I was Min Sung. I pointed towards the ocean to make Ji Won look. I threw the stone with all my remaining strength. It skipped 3 times.
‘Perfect,’ I thought as I closed my eyes for the last time.
As Ji Won listened to what Mina was saying, he was stunned still. He couldn’t believe his ears. She thought he was saying he loved her as payment of what she had done for him. More tears fell down his face as he shook his head. Then when Mina pointed out to the ocean, Ji Won saw her throw the stone he had given her.
It skipped 3 times. I love you.
Ji Won smiled, knowing that Mina loved him too. He had known that she had loved him all along but she never told it to him either. “Mina, you don’t understand. I do love you!” he shouted. Then Ji Won looked down at her. She had passed on.
He shook her gently. Her body was still and completely lifeless. “Mina!” he screamed in pain. He held onto her tightly, burying his face into her neck. He was crying so loudly and painfully that both their bodies shook.
Sung Hoon and the others finally made it to where Ji Won and Mina was. They circled Ji Won, who was bent over holding someone they couldn’t see.
“Hyung,” said Sung Hoon as he put his hand on Ji Won’s shoulder. “Are you okay? Where’s Min Sung?”
Ji Won lifted his head up and Sung Hoon saw who Ji Won was holding. He fell back into the sand shocked.
“M…Mina?” he asked in disbelief.
“Mina?” the others repeated.
“Min Sung is Mina?” asked Ji Yong.
Ji Won nodded his head. “She dressed up as a guy to join SechsKies to be with me.”
“You’re right, Mickey. Mina did love Matthew hyung,” said Jae Duc quietly.
Sung Hoon got up and hugged both Ji Won’s and Mina’s bodies tightly. “Why?” he asked crying. Everyone remained silent. Ji Won shook his head. He moved away from Sung Hoon and turned to face all of them.
“SechsKies is my family. You guys are all like my brothers. Please be my witness as I make this promise to Mina.” They nodded their heads sadly and listened.
“Mina,” Ji Won began. “When you were alive, I was never able to tell you that I loved you. Now that you’re gone, you don’t believe I love you. Even though I never showed you the kind of love you wanted me to, it doesn’t mean I didn’t love you with all I have.” Ji Won paused and yanked off the ring around his necklace. “With SechsKies here as my witnesses, I, Eun Ji Won, take Nam Mina as my wife ‘til eternity. I have nothing to give you Mina except my heart, which belonged to you from the first day we met.”
He kissed her lips as he slipped on the ring. The others watched him in silence. They were surprised when because of all the time Ji Won had been their leader, he had never used his real name Ji Won before. They knew he was serious. When it was over, Ji Won lifted Mina up into his arms as he stood up.
“As your leader, I have a final announcement to make. I am quitting SechsKies.”
“What?” they all asked in disbelief.
“Hyung,” said Su Won. “Please reconsider.”
Ji Won shook his head. “This is the second time Mina left me. I really can’t go on as your leader. The person I loved the most is taken away from me too soon and she died not knowing that I truly do love her.”
The others understood what Ji Won meant. Jae Jin walked up to Ji Won. “What do you plan to do then Matthew?”
“I don’t know,” he answered. I’ll be somewhere where I’ll always be with Mina and constantly remind her that I love her. And as for SechsKies, with all the money and businesses we have, I don’t see any reason why we have to commit any more crimes. We each have enough money to spend for the rest of our lives already.”They all nodded.
Ji Won placed a hand on Sung Hoon’s shoulder. “Sung Hoon,” said Ji Won.
“Yes hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “If you do love Kyung Hee, tell her before it’s too late.”
Sung Hoon nodded. “I will.”
Ji Won looked at his 5 brothers for the last time. “This final meeting of SechsKies is now adjourned. I wish you all the best and hope you do find your true love because I have. Good bye.”
Ji Won picked up Mina’s book and scribbled something into it. When he was done, he placed it down back on the rock. Then Ji Won lifted Mina’s body up into his arms as he walked away.
“Hyung!” shouted Sung Hoon. “Where are you going?”
Ji Won continued walking and didn’t answer him. The 5 Kies watched their leader walk towards the sunset carrying his bride and disappeared. They picked up the book to see what Ji Won had written. The last entry of Mina’s story was, “True love never has an ending.”
|Posted by aNyBLogGa on May 9, 2011 at 12:52 AM||comments (0)|
June 16, 1999
It was 3 a.m. and Ji Won had lost Mina. As he chased her down the streets he lost track of where she ran off to. “Mina!” he continued shouting. His cries echoed throughout the streets. A lot of people heard him yelling. So did the Black Dragons.
Tae Won silently crept behind Ji Won. Ji Won was all alone. Tae Won gave an evil smile. He had a plan. He and his sidekick began to set up a trap for Ji Won, which they knew he would fall for.
I covered my ears. I didn’t want to hear Ji Won’s voice. I was so confused. All I ever wanted was to be with Ji Won but now it’s all complicated. I leaned back against the alley wall. I needed time to think.
Ji Won ran through the alleys as he continued searching for Mina. Then he ran into Tae Won. Out of the darkness, Tae Won stepped out. “Looking for someone?” he asked.
“Yeah,” said Ji Won, glaring at him. “I’m looking for Min Sung.”
“The punk that stabbed me?” Tae Won asked furiously.
“I got him.”
“You do?” Ji Won asked surprised. “Hand him over!”
“There he is,” said Tae Won, pointing to a figure up ahead. From the back it did look like Min Sung but little did Ji Won know that it was all a setup.
“Mina?” Ji Won whispered as he approached the person. It was a Black Dragon member. He grabbed a hold of Ji Won around the neck and began shooting Ji Won continually in the stomach.
I looked out from where I was hiding when I heard gunshots. “Ji Won!” I screamed as I ran out from where I hid. My scream threw the Black Dragon member off guard. Seeing his chance, Ji Won grabbed the gun from him and shot him in the head. He fell to the floor dead. Tae Won started to run away but Ji Won aimed a shot directly at his heart. Tae Won fell down dead too.
Ji Won looked at me and then collapsed to the cold ground. He wasn’t able to hold on any longer. Rain began to pour.
“Ji Won!” I screamed, shaking him.
He was still breathing but barely. I lifted Ji Won up on my back and carried him to a nearby hospital. The rain drenched us and it grew hard for me to carry him because of the weight. However, I managed to make it. They rushed him into the emergency room.
Four hours later, the doctor came out.
“How is he?” I asked as I ran up to him.
“He was shot 4 times in the stomach region. As you know, a person needs at least one kidney to survive but both of his are destroyed. Unless we can find a donor, he’ll have to die.”
“Give him mine,” I told the doctor right away.
“Are you sure?” I nodded my head. “Because of your heart condition, if we have this operation that means you can die instantly during the transfer.”
I nodded my head again. “I understand. Please let’s have the operation now.”
They tested me and luckily I was compatible with Ji Won. Six hours later the surgery was completed. It’s a miracle that I’m still alive. I knew not for long though.
I woke up finding myself in a hospital bed with Ji Won on a bed next to me. He was still in a coma. I got out of bed and went near him. I stroked his hair gently as I bent down to kiss him.
“I love you Ji Won,” I whispered to him. Then I left the room, going to the last place I wanted to be.
Ji Won began to wake up. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital room. Slowly his door began to open and the rest of SechsKies entered his room.
“Hyung?” asked Sung Hoon. “Are you okay?”
Ji Won nodded his head weakly as he pulled himself up. “I’m okay now.”
Jae Jin walked over to his bedside. “We’re so sorry Matthew hyung. We didn’t know what happened until this morning. We got revenge for you though when we wiped out the entire Black Dragon hideout.”
“It’s okay,” he told them softly as they all bowed down.
Then a knock came to his door. The doctor came in. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he said.
Ji Won looked at him. “Thanks for saving me Doc.”
“No need to thank me. Your girlfriend is the one who saved your life.”
Ji Won began to panic. “What did she do?”
“She could have gotten a chance to go to England to get a heart transplant but she decided to stay to give you her kidney instead.”
“The girl…where is she?” he asked frantically.
The doctor looked around the room. “She was supposed to be in here—“ Ji Won got out of bed and ran out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him.
“Hyung!” all the 5 Kies shouted but Ji Won had already left. He ran searching for Mina. He knew where she went.